and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
