just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
