can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
