I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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