Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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