I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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