Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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