I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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