Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
