I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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