the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
