Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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