And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
