we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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