she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if only i could text you this smell
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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