Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
