I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
