why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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