Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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