Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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