I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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