she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize