He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
