READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
