She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
