everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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