4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
