I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
