It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
