If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
