plz talk dirty to me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
