I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
