It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
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The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
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I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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