"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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