I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
