Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my sisters under your porch take her home
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize