I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize