Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
