It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
