is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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