he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
