420 ftw
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
