Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
