Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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