I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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