I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
