just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
