Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
is wine microwaveable?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
