I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
