Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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