FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
