I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
