i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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