I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
