Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
