i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
honey bunches of taint.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
