I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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