you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
