talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
