I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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