i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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