no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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