She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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