First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
